BEWITCHED "DADDY COMES TO VISIT" (PART ONE) (3916) Revised Final Draft Property of: July 9, 1969 Screen Gems, Hollywood BEWITCHED "DADDY COMES TO VISIT" (PART ONE) (3916) CAST AND SET LIST CAST: SAMANTHA DARRIN MAURICE ADAM LARRY TATE SILAS BLISS, JR. SILAS BLISS, SR. SETS INTERIORS: STEPHENS: LIVING ROOM KITCHEN NURSERY DARRIN'S OFFICE LARRY'S OFFICE BOARD ROOM CHINESE RESTAURANT STOCK EXT. HONG KONG STREET BEWITCHED "DADDY COMES TO VISIT" (3916) TEASER FADE IN: INT. STEPHENS LIVING ROOM - DAY 1 SAMANTHA enters from. the kitchen and crosses to 1 the foot of the stairs. SAMANTHA (calling) Sweetheart, what kind of eggs would you like? DARRIN appears at the top of the stairs, in the process of putting on his tie (or whatever). DARRIN How about... chicken eggs? SAMANTHA Ho ho. Fried or scrambled? DARRIN Scrambled. (kiss-kiss) Love you. He ducks out of sight. O.S. we hear the baby as it CRIES briefly. Samantha exits hurriedly to the kitchen. CUT TO: INT. KITCHEN - DAY 2 As Samantha enters and crosses to the baby's bassinet. 2 SAMANTHA What is it, love? The baby's CRY changes to a GURGLE. SAMANTHA (cont'd) I see. Just missed your mommy, huh? 2 CONTINUED: 2 She crosses to counter and takes two eggs which she has previously set in a mixing bowl and cracks one on the edge of the bowl. Nothing comes out of the egg -- except a small piece of paper which flutters to the counter. Samantha picks it up. SAMANTHA (cont'd) (reading) "I am a prisoner in an egg foo yung factory." She looks up in mock exasperation. SAMANTHA (cont'd) All right, who's the smart aleck witch. You owe me one egg. A PUFF OF SMOKE goes up and MAURICE APPEARS. MAURICE I hardly think that's a proper way to address one's father SAMANTHA Daddy I'm sorry. (she kisses him) I thought it was Mother or Serena. I'd hardly expect you to make such a sublime entrance. MAURICE I'm in a sublime mood.... I didn't want to disturb... (indicates the baby) ...how is the little prince? SAMANTHA Just fine. Looking more like you every day. MAURICE For that, my child, I'm going to bestow on you the highest honor at my disposal. He gives her a kiss on the brow. SAMANTHA Why thank you. 2 CONTINUED: (2) 2 He crosses to the bassinet and beams down at the baby. MAURICE Hello there, Adam! My, he's just thriving, isn't he? Incidentally, before I left London, I registered him for membership in the Warlock's Club. SAMANTHA (incredulously) At the age of five weeks? MAURICE It's never too early. Before know it, he'll be a man. Well, a man never knows when he'll want to stay in town for the night. And if he's not a member of the club, he'll have to go to a hotel. And we can't have that, can we? SAMANTHA (hiding a smile) I guess not. MAURICE And how's Tabitha? As radiant as her mother, I hope. SAMANTHA (smiling) She's fine.. She's taking a walk with Esmeralda...how about staying for breakfast and you can see her later. MAURICE Love to. I'll have some caviar and champagne. Beluga caviar, of course, caught in the month of May off the north shore of the Caspian. And the champagne... SAMANTHA I'm sorry, but I'm fresh out of caviar and champagne from anywhere. 2 CONTINUED: (3) 2 MAURICE Nonsense. How can you be "fresh out" of anything as long as you have your powers? SAMANTHA Oh, daddy, stop it -- you know that using witchcraft is off limits around here. Except in extreme emergencies. MAURICE This is an emergency. I'm dying for some caviar and champagne. SAMANTHA (with a laugh) You haven't lived till you've tasted a hand-made breakfast. During following, Samantha busies herself with the breakfast preparations. MAURICE You know what the problem is here? Ego. Plain, unvarnished mortal ego. Your husband doesn't want you to use your natural gifts because it makes him feel inferior. But I tell you unequivocally, if he had the same powers, his objections would vanish in a flash. SAMANTHA I don't agree. 3 ANOTHER ANGLE - ENTRANCE 3 As Darrin enters. DARRIN (slight edge) Oh, what a pleasant surprise. Company for breakfast. SAMANTHA (trying to keep peace) Yes, Daddy's always a wonderful surprise. 5 3 CONTINUED: 3 MAURICE (all warmth and charm) What a pleasure to see you, Dustin. DARRIN Darrin. MAURICE (extending his hand) It's been much too long since our last meeting! DARRIN (demurring) Oh, I wouldn't say that. SAMANTHA (quickly) Darrin, Daddy's going to join us for breakfast. DARRIN (nodding) Terrific. Maurice puts his arm around Darrin's shoulder and leads him to a seat at the table. MAURICE Samantha's looking simply fabulous, my boy. No doubt thanks to your tender loving care. DARRIN Well, it's really been my pleasure. MURICE (chuckling, to Samantha) Got a delightful sense of humor, too, hasn't he? I think your mother's entirely wrong about him. (to Darrin) Sit down, sit down. DARRIN (sitting) Thank you, sir. MAURICE Please,why so formal? Call me Maurice. 3 CONTINUED: (2) 3 DARRIN Okay.. Maurice. MAURICE Or Dad. DARRIN Okay...Dad. MAURICE You were right. "Sir" is best. DARRIN (to Samantha) What's for breakfast? SAMANTHA (wryly) I think we're having fatted calf. MAURICE I've got a little-surprise for you, Darryl... DARRIN Darrin... MAURICE In honor of the arrival of my first grandson... He reaches out and plucks a jewelry box from the air and hands it to Darrin. DARRIN That's really not necessary, Maurice... MAURICE Sir. DARRIN Sir. Well, I...thanks. He opens it to reveal a handsome pocket watch. MAURICE It's waterproof, anti-magnetic and has built-in aircraft radar. SAMANTHA It's very handsome. 3 CONTINUED: (3) 3 MAURICE It's shock-proof, too. DARRIN I don't know what to say. MAURICE And best of all, you can perform witchcraft with it. DARRIN Now I know what to say. (handing it back) No. thanks. MAURICE Now look, Darwood.... DARRIN Darrin. MAURICE (handing watch back) What's wrong with using this watch just to tell time? SAMANTHA You didn't mention it could do that. MAURICE You don't have to use the powers with which the watch is endowed. But they're present, if you need them. DARRIN (handing it back) Oh, no you don't! I'm not falling into that trap! MAURICE I command you to accept this watch! DARRIN With all due respect, sir, you cannot command me. MAURICE (conciliatory) Dustin, my boy... SAMANTHA It's Darrin, my boy. 8 3 CONTINUED: (4) 3 DARRIN (to Samantha) Thank you. SAMANTHA Daddy, if he doesn't want it, why force him? MAURICE But why does he have to be such a dog in the manger? SAMANTHA He's no such thing. He's a man of principle. MAURICE You mean, he was a man with principle. He GESTURES and a ST. BERNARD POPS IN in Darrin's place. SAMANTHA Daddy, that's unfair, unreasonable and downright despicable! MAURICE (with relish) Isn't it, though?? SAMANTHA And I order you to -- MAURICE You what? SAMANTHA I mean, I'm begging you to change him back. The DOG sits up and BEGS. SAMANTHA (cont'd) Isn't that sweet -- he's begging too. The DOG BARKS angrily. SAMANTHA (cont'd) Sorry, Sweetheart, but you looked so cute, I got carried away! FADE OUT: END TEASER 9 ACT ONE FADE IN: INT. STEPHENS KITCHEN - DAY 4 CLOSE SHOT - ON DOG 4 CAMERA PULLS BACK to reveal Maurice casually sitting sipping some coffee. Samantha, pacing back and forth, is driving home her point. SAMANTHA Daddy, I don't understand how you could do such a thing to Darrin. One minute you tell me how well I look, thanks to... (points to dog) ... his tender loving care and then you do a thing like this. The dog barks. Samantha pets it sympathetically. SAMANTHA (cont'd) Yes, I know, Sweetheart. MAURICE Well...perhaps I did lose my temper a bit ... but I was completely justified. SAMANTHA Of course you were, Daddy, but remember the quality of mercy is not strained. MAURICE (immediately taking off) "It is twice blessed. It blesseth him that gives and him that takes... Tis mightest in the might..." SAMANTHA Exactly! And you're mighty enough to show some of that mercy to Darrin. MAURICE Samantha, you should have been a lawyer. Maurice gestures and Darrin APPEARS in place of the dog. Samantha runs over to him, solitiously. SAMANTHA Everything's all right now, Sweetheart. 10 4 CONTINUED: 4 DARRIN (sarcastic) Sure. (turns to Maurice) Thank you, from the bottom of my jowls. SAMANTHA Now I Sweetheart, let's be reasonable. Let's keep an open mind. DARRIN It's open. It's also made up. MAURICE Why don't we meet half way? DARRIN Half way to where? MAURICE I understand-that the gift of unlimited power is a frightening thought to a mortal -- but I assure you once you get used to it, you won't want to be without it. DARRIN (persistent) Really, Maurice... MAURICE (correcting) Sir! DARRIN Sir... MAURICE Look, young man -- my daughter has been decent enough to live your mortal life for five long years. Has she not? DARRIN Well, yes. MAURICE The least you can do is experience the other side of the coin for a few short days. SAMANTHA Sweetheart, that is a fair compromise. 4CONTINUED: (2) DARRIN (swayed) Well... MAURICE Then if you're still uneasy about it, you may return the gift and no hard feelings. SAMANTHA (quickly) It's a deal! DARRIN Samantha, this is between your father and myself. (turns to Maurice) A few short days... ? MAURICE One short day, if you prefer, starting tomorrow morning. DARRIN It's a deal, sir. He and Maurice shake on it. MAURICE Call me Maurice! A flourish of his cape and Maurice POPS OUT. DARRIN (upset at being intimidated) Now that he's gone, there are a couple of other things I'd like to call him. SAMANTHA I wouldn't if I were you. Daddy may be out of sight, but he's never out of earshot. Sit down and have your breakfast. The telephone RINGS. Darrin rises. Crosses to answer it. DARRIN (into phone) Hello? ... Oh, Hi, Larry ... Well, I got held up by some unexpected company and I'm just leaving... Right, good-bye. (hangs up) CONTINUED: (3) 4 SAMANTHA But you haven't had your breakfast. DARRIN Honey, I have an important meeting this morning. I don't want to be late -- and the traffic at this hour is impossible. BOOM, A PUFF OF SMOKE, and Maurice APPEARS, wearing a flowing cape and carrying a walking stick. MAURICE What's this traffic nonsense? Just command your watch ... and you're at the office. DARRIN Well, actually, Maurice, I I love the drive...gives me time to relax ... listen to the traffic jam bulletins. MAURICE You're trying my patience. DARRIN I'm sorry but I have certain principles that I have to live by. MAURICE (with controlled fury) On the contrary, you don't have to live at all! SAMANTHA (stepping in) Sweetheart -- you know Daddy's temper. DARRIN Intimately. MAURICE (mellowing) Now, just some simple instructions. You hold the gift. Darrin does. MAURICE (cont'd) You concentrate on where you want to be and say: "Zolda, Prancan, Kopek, Lum." 4 CONTINUED: (4) 4 DARRIN (repeats, incredulously) "Zolda, Prancan, Kopek, Lum?" And suddenly he WHOOSHES out through the wall...a DISAPPEARING TINY FIGURE. His VOICE comes OVER. DARRIN'S VOICE That was a dirty trick!! SAMANTHA (calling) Bye Sweetheart. See you at dinner. (to Maurice) I'll say this for Darrin, he does disappear like he's been doing it all his life. Except for the pained look on his face. MAURICE And that. Maurice points to the floor. 5 ANGLE - FLOOR 5 Darrin's shoes are there. 6 ANOTHER ANGLE 6 MAURICE (continuing) But he'll improve with practice. INT. DARRIN'S OFFICE - DAY 7 It's empty for a BEAT. Darrin POPS IN. He 7 feels himself just to make sure he's in one piece. He notices his shoes are missing. Darrin looks at his watch, conflicted. He finally relents. DARRIN (to the watch) Okay, Darrin needs a new pair of shoes. Zolda, Prancan, Kopek, Lum. 14 8 ANGLE - HIS FEET 8 ZAP, he's wearing shoes. 9 ANOTHER ANGLE 9 Darrin, looking down at his shoes. DARRIN Not bad. The toes are a little Pointy, but wbat does a watch know about shoes? Darrin is startled by Larry's voice. LARRY'S VOICE Miss Wilson, I'll just put these layouts on Mr. Stephens' desk so they'll be there when he... By this time the door is opened and LARRY is stunned to see Darrin. LARRY (cont'd) Darrin! What are you doing here? 10 ANGLE INCLUDING DARRIN 10 DARRIN (caught) Looking at my shoes. LARRY Well, you must have wings on them. I just talked to you at home a minute ago. DARRIN Oh -- uh -- that ... hahaha... thought I'd play a little joke an you. LARRY Joke? DARRIN (winging it) Well, actually it's a gadget -- I read about it in "Science Over Logic" -- a new magazine. I put it on my dictaphone which is connected to vour telephone through the master conduit of the switch box which is connected to the apparatus cabinet and the wiring terminal. It bends the voice impulse -- you know, to make it sound like you're there when you're here. 15 10 CONTINUED: 10 Larry just stares at him, dumbly. LARRY No kidding? DARRIN Works great, huh? Fooled you, didn't it?! LARRY Darrin, I don't know what you're talking about but I would think you have better things to do with your time. For instance, working on the Bliss Pharmaceutical pre- sentation ... we're meeting in an hour. Darrin picks up a presentation folder. DARRIN (patting folder) I've got it right here. LARRY Okay, let's go into my office and check it out. Larry heads for the door, turns. LARRY (cont'd) (still bugged) Boy, what a dumb, schoolboy trick. You should be ashamed of yourself. DARRIN (as he goes), Okay, I'm sorry -- I won't do it again.. Larry starts to leave, then turns back, and looks at Darrin's feet. LARRY By the way, where'd those shoes come from ... Rome? DARRIN Possibly. Do you like them? LARRY They're all right... if you like pointy toes. Darrin reacts. CUT TO: 16 INT. KITCHEN - DAY 11 ANGLE ON MAURICE AND THE BABY 11 Maurice is-feedifig the baby. Samantha stands nearby. MAURICE Ah, Samantha, what a handsome lad. Have you had any indication yet of what his powers might be? SAMANTHA Daddy, he's only five weeks old! MAURICE What of it? At his age, I flew. SAMANTHA How would you remember a thing like that? MA,URICE When you get-caught in a flock of swallows returning to Capistrano, you don't forget it. (looking at the baby) Ah yes he's going to be a fine young warlock. SAMANTHA. You know, it's possible he may be entirely mortal. MAURICE Bite your tongue! SAMANTHA, (with a sigh) It would certainly make his home life a lot simpler. MAURICE You're right. These never- ending conflicts with your husband are absurd. That's why I'm glad he decided to be gracious and accept the watch. SAMANTHA What choice did he have? He just didn't want to spend the rest of his life wagging his tail. 17 CONTINUED: 11 MAURICE Be that as it may, the important thing is -- he has the watch. SAMANTHA But he'll never use it. He's got too much character. MALTRICE You really believe that? SAMANTHA Absolutely. MAURICE (craftily) Suppose, just speaking hypothetically, suppose his life were in danger? Or yours? You don't think he might be tempted? SAMANTHA Well, in a case like that, I think anybody would, but--- MAURICE Aha! You see? All we have to do is open a little chink in his armor, and before you know it, he'll be defenseless SAMANTHA. Daddy, you're talking about him as if he were an opponent! MAURICE My dear, I didn't mean to imply that in anyway, shape or form. SAMANTHA Sorry. Maurice holds the now empty bottle up; puts it down and rises with the baby handing him to Samantha. During this: WJRICE I do the feeding. You do the burping. Samantha takes the baby. 18 CONTINUED: (2) 11 MAURICE (cont'd) Now, I think I'll pop in on him and see how he's doing. SAMANTHA (shaking her-head) You know what you're doing? You're setting the father-in- law business back a hundred years. Maurice smiles and POPS OUT. Samantha sighs as we FADE OUT: END ACT ONE 19 ACT TWO FADE IN: INT. DARRIN'S OFFICE - DAY 12 Darrin stands at an easel indicating picture of 12 stylishly designed bottle of cough medicine with an equally stylish label bearing the name "BLISS COUGH SYRUP". Looking on with Larry is SILAS BLISS, JR. -- a man about thirty-five a victim of decisive indecision. DARRIN And then -- as soon as the new Bliss Cough Syrup bottle is on the shelves we coordinate an advertising campaign on radio and television pegged on the slogan "Ask Any Doctor About A Bad Cough, And He'll-Tell You, 'Silence is Bliss!" BLISS, JR. Clever! (a beat) I think. LARRY Clever? It'll knock the competition on its ear! Maurice POPS IN, TRANSPARENT. Throughout the following sequence, Maurice reacts to what he considers sheer nonsense, by yawning, stretching and lying down on the couch, etc. BLISS, JR. (sure) You're right. (backing down) I guess. LARRY Sure, I'm right. And that new bottle design is a beauty. BLISS, JR. (in complete agreement) Yes, itl.s very handsome. Very! DARRIN (looking wisely at this man) But??? 20 12 CONTINUED: 12 BLISS, JR. (firm -- too firm) No buts. No buts at all. LARRY Good, then it's settled. 13 ANGLE - MAURICE 13 He yawns. 14 BACK TO SCENE 14 BLISS, JR. (backing down slowly, hoping it won't be noticed) Of course the square bottle with the little gold cap has been our trademark since 1918 ... when my father started this business. LARRY (less self-assured himself) Oh? Really? BLISS, JR. (trying to be casual) Not to mention that my father has always prided himself on making Bliss Cough Syrup a household name strictly by word of mouth. DARRIN Mr. Bliss, word of mouth is a good way to spread a cough; not a cough Syrup. BLISS, JR. (laughing amiably) Oh, that's a good one. (suddenly unsure) You are joking, aren't you? LARRY Of course, he's joking. DARRIN Not really. The fact is your total sales are down 23% in the past five years. 21 15 SHOT - MAURICE 15 He stretches, trying to keep awake. 16 BACK TO SCENE 16 BLISS JR. (miserable) I know. Awful isn't it? DARRIN And unnecessary. You've got to change with the times. LARRY (quickly) Darrin means, McMann and Tate are prepared to preserve the old while adopting the new. BLISS, JR. That sounds like a good idea. (beat) How do you do that? DARRIN (sarcastic) Yes, Larry. How do you do that? LARRY Uh...let's talk about it over lunch. Maurice lies down on the couch. BLISS, JR. Oh, I can't possibly make lunch. I'm expected at a Board Meeting this afternoon. In fact, I'm late already. He heads for the door, Larry following. LARRY Well, I'm sure the Board will be delighted with our unique approach. BLISS, JR. Maybe. But as you know we've also been talking to Gilbey Associates about handling our account. 22 16 CONTINUED: 16 LARRY Oh? No. I didn't know. (quickly) Of course, what Stephens was just saying about new packaging and using television -- that was strictly a personal opinion. He doesn't have the last word. That's up to me. DARRIN (in shock) Larry... BLISS,, JR. (at door) Well, what do you prefer, Mr. Tate? Preserving the old or adopting the new? LARRY Not necessarily. BLISS, JR. Yes, well -- we'll definitely be deciding on the approach we want at the Board Meeting today ... maybe. Bliss, Jr. exits, leaving Larry completely distraught. DARRIN Thanks for the vote of confidence. LARRY Darrin, I'm sorry -- but I had to do something to show we were strong yet flexible. DARRIN Like a tower of jello. LARRY I'm a man who operates on the theory that you find out what the client wants and that's what you give him. thinking a moment) There's only one fly in that jello. We're not going to be at that board meeting. Larry exits unhappily, leaving Darrin alone ... until interrupted by Maurice, who has now fully MATERIALIZED. 23 16 CONTINUED: 16 MAURICE'S VOICE Well, Dustin -- doesn't that suggest something to you? 17 ANOTHER ANGLE - INCLUDING MAURICE 17 He is perched on desk. Darrin whirls. DARRIN Maurice, if you don't mind -- I'm not the slightest bit interested in attending that meeting -- power or no power! MAURICE You see? It's obviously important to you or you wouldn't be so overwrought. (smiles) Look, why don't we talk about it over lunch...I know a marvelous little Chinese restaurant ... very relaxed... just a few seconds from here. DARRIN Well ... all right. Since I have to eat somewhere... MAURICE Splendid. Come along... With that, Maurice and Darrin suddenly WHOOSH out of the room. EXT. HONG KONG STREET - DAY - (STOCK) 18 It's packed with rickshaws and assorted Asians 18 milling about. The potpouri of a typical im- passable Chinese street is evident. INT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - DAY 19 Maurice and Darrin are at a table. Maurice is 19 eating; Darrin is fuming. The patrons and waiters are all Asians. The scene is as authen- tic as possible. MAURICE You can tell the food is excellent. All the Hong Kong truck drivers eat here. 24 19 CONTINUED: 19 DARRIN (furious) Never mind that. You Shanghied me to Hong Kong. MAURICE Shanghied you to Hong..Kong! That pun is worthy of Uncle Arthur. DARRIN Maurice, I insist that you get me out of here this instant. MAURICE Stop worrying. You won't miss the board meeting. DARRIN I certainly will miss it. I have no intention of going. MAURICE (puzzled) Why not? DARRIN Because it's dishonest. MAURICE You'll be invisible. Who's going to know? DARRIN Me! I'm going to know. MAURICE Very well. You can leave Hong Kong any time you want to. He makes a gesture. The WATCH FLIES out of Darrin's pocket into Maurice's hand. Maurice throws it up and down in his hand. MAURICE (cont'd) On your own power. DARRIN I'd swim back home before I'd agree to use that watch. Maurice gives him an angry look. 25 19 CONTINUED: (2) 19 MAURICE Darwin, look into my eyes and listen to me very carefully. Darrin looks into his eyes. 20 CLOSE SHOT - MAURICE'S EYES 20 21 CLOSE SHOT - DARRIN'S EYES 21 22 BACK TO SCENE 22 MAURICE You are quicksilver -- a fleeting shadow -- a distant sound -- your life has no boundary beyond which you cannot pass. You live in music in a flash of color! You live on the wind and in the sparkle of a star... for twenty-four hours you will obey my will and indulge in the use of your gift. 23 ANGLE - DARRIN 23 His eyes are a little glassy. 24 TWO-SHOT - MAURICE 24 Maurice makes a subtle gesture with his hand and there is a MUSICAL STING. 25 CLOSE SHOT - DARRIN 25 smiles, pleased.. DARRIN You know, Sir... MAURICE (interrupting) Call me Maurice. DARRIN You have marvelous powers of persuasion, Maurice. 26 25 CONTINUED: 25 MAURICE (matter-of-factly) Yes, I know. DARRIN I better be getting back. MAURICE Yes, of course. He tosses him the watch. DARRIN (thinking) Uh ... Prancee ... Zolda... MAURICE (corrects him) Zolda, Prancan, Kopek, Lum. Don't re-write me. DARRIN Zolda, Prancan, Kolum, Pek. MAURICE (corrects again) Kopek ... Lum. DARRIN Oh ... oh...Kopek ... Lum. With that Darrin POPS OUT leaving Maurice shaking his head. MAURICE Sometimes I wonder why I even try. CUT TO: INT. STEPHENS NURSERY - DAY 26 Samantha is busy diapering the baby. Maurice 26 POPS IN beside her. MAURICE Hello, my dear. SAMANTHA Oh. Hello, Daddy. She continues diapering during following. 26CONTINUED: MAURICE Well, aren't you curious to know how things are going with Darwin? SAMANTHA Darrin. Yes, but I'm afraid to ask. I just hope you haven't been bothering him. MAURICE On the contrary, we just had a most delightful lunch. SAMANTHA (brightening) Really? Oh, I'm glad to hear that. You see, if you approach Darrin on his own level, he's really good company. Where did you eat? MAURICE A very charming little Chinese place. SAMANTHA Oh, the one that's Darrin's favorite over on the west side? MAURICE No, this one was on the east side, you might say. But while I was at his office, I was able to observe him in action. He's quite good at his work, you know. SAMANTHA Of course, that's what I've been telling you. MAURICE (enigmatically) And he's going to be even better. Samantha stops in mid-action and regards Maurice auspiciously. SAMANTHA Daddy, I know you well enough to know that when you're that pleasant about Darrin, something is wrong. For Darrin. Now what does that mean: "He's going to be even better?" 28 26 CONTINUED: 26 MAURICE I merely meant that all he has to do is -- watch out. And now if you'll excuse me... He waves and POPS OUT. Samantha looks after him, preoccupied with concern. SAMANTHA Poor Darrin! No wonder they call husbands the bitter half! CUT TO: INT. BOARD ROOM - DAY 27 Silas Bliss, Jr. stands addressing SILAS BLISS, SR., 27 a crusty old white-haired patriarch, who sits at head of large board table. OTHER LESSER EXECUTIVES are also seated at table BLISS, JR. Now then, Father, turning to the Gilbey Associates approach, they have a completely opposite viewpoint from that of McMann & Tate. As Bliss, Jr., pauses to take a sip of water, Darrin POPS IN sitting in air behind group of men. Obviously uncomfortable, he feels air around him for means of support. (NOTE: HE IS TRANSPARENT AND CANNOT BE SEEN BY OTHERS.) BLISS, SR. Well, go on ... go on! BLISS, JR. Gilbey recommends we keep the traditional Bliss Cough Syrup bottle... BLISS, SR. With-the little gold cap on the top? BLISS, JR. With the little gold cap on the top. BLISS, SR. Good, good...I like the little gold cap, doesn't everybody? The other Executives react in agreement. 29 28 ANGLE - DARRIN 28 Although under a spell, he is still conscience stricken so he tries not to listen by holding his hands over his ears. As he does, Maurice POPS IN beside him, also TRANSPARENT. (NOTE: DIALOGUE IN B.G. CONTINUES CONCURRENTLY.) MAURICE Sorry I'm late, Darrin but I had to pay the bill and they didn't have change of a million dollar yen. (notices Darrin's hands on his ears) What's the matter? You have a headache? DARRIN Shh, they'll hear you. (lowers his hands) MAURICE No they won't. We're both invisible and inaudible. DARRIN And miserable. Let's not forget that. BLISS, JR. (o.s.) Now at McMann & Tate, father, they're recom- mending radio, television and all that sort of thing. BLISS, SR., (o.s.) And what about the Gilbey people? What's their scheme? BLISS, JR. (o.s.) The old mail order approach 29 ANGLE - THE BOARD TABLE 29 Featuring the two Bliss'. Darrin and Maurice are in the b.g. BLISS, SR. Well, what do you say, son? BLISS, JR. Well, sir, I say ... I'd love to hear what you have to say first. BLISS, SR. Smart boy, respects his father. He'll go far. Right? The other Executives react in agreement. 30 SHOT - MAURICE - DARRIN 30 (as they walk around the board table, talk continues in b.g.) 30 CONTINUED: 30 MAURICE BLISS, SR. (o.s.) Smart old man. Notice how Anybody else got any- he.controls his child? I thing to say? Jurgens? wonder how he does it. Whitfield? -Johnson? DARRIN BLISS, JR. (o.s.) (not holding his Looks like we're all ears) waiting for you, father. Shhh! Please! BLISS, SR. (o.s.) Well, I'll tell you how I feel about it. MAURICE I told you, they can't hear us. DARRIN No, no! Them! I can't hear them! 31 FULL SHOT - BOARD ROOM 31 BLISS, SR. (cont'd) I say we've been in busines fifty years. BLISS, JR. Right! BLISS, SR. And if it's good enough for fifty years, it's good enough for fifty-one. BLISS, JR. Right! BLISS., SR. So. I say we go with Gilbey. BLISS, JR. With Gilbey, sir. All the way! Darrin looks at his watch, and starts to incant. DARRIN Zolda, Prancan... MAURICE (tired of hearing it) Just think it, lad. Darrin closes his eyes, thinks, then incants and POPS OUT. 31 31 CONTINUED: 31 MAURICE (watching him go) Hmmm, he handled that beautifully. I know when I'm not needed. He gestures and POPS OUT. INT. LARRY'S OFFICE 32 Larry is sitting at his desk, concentrating on 32 some work. Darrin suddenly POPS IN to the middle of the office. Larry looks up, surprised. LARRY Darrin, for Pete's sake, what are you doing in my office? I didn't even hear you come in. DARRIN It's these shoes. They're not only pointy, they're squeak- proof. LARRY Bliss hasn't called me yet. What do you think it means? DARRIN I think it means we lost the account to Gilbey. LARRY (annoyed) Who asked you? DARRIN But I know how we can get it back. LARRY Get it back. We didn't even lose it. I just told you I haven't heard from Bliss yet. DARRIN Larry, I've got inside information. LARRY (starting to believe) You do? DARRIN The only way to get that account is to give old man Bliss what he wants. 32 CONTINUED: 32 LARRY What's that? DARRIN His little gold cap and a 1930 sales approach. LARRY Darrin are you sure? DARRIN (cocky) I'll stake my job on it. LARRY (nods) You have ... you have. (crosses to door) Get busy on the new roughs and I'll call Bliss and talk him into another meeting. Larry exits only to reappear a beat later. LARRY (cont'd) Darrin, if you don't mind, this is my office. FLIP TO: INT. DARRIN'S OFFICE - DAY 33 Darrin, at desk, is gathering up rough sketches 33 as Larry enters in happy frame of mind. LARRY Well! I talked to Bliss, Jr., and hinted we scrapped our whizbang approach for a more traditional concept and he went for it. DARRIN (expansively) Larry ... you're going to have to get used to something ... I'm never wrong. LARRY I can get used to you never being wrong but I don't know if I can get used to your saying it. Darrin rises, heads for door with sketches 33 CONTINUED: 33 DARRIN Yeah, well I better get these sketches over to the art department. LARRY Oh. One more thing, Darrin. I took the liberty of inviting Bliss over to your house for dinner tomorrow night ... and he said he'd love to come...and held let us know if he could make it right after he checked with his father. DARRIN My house? Why my house? LARRY (matter-of-factly) Because this was all your idea. DARRIN In some strange way, I guess that makes sense. LARRY If we do get the Bliss Account, there's a big bonus in it for you. DARRIN Well, thank you Larry. Larry pauses -- looks at Darrin curiously. LARRY How'd you get that inside info? DARRIN Larry, so help me, if I told you, you wouldn't believe me! Larry grins, waggles finger at Darrin. LARRY You son of a gun. He exits. 34ANGLE - DARRIN 34 He takes out the watch, looks at it, smiles. 34 CONTINUED: 34 DARRIN (a proclamation) Today the Bliss Pharmaceutical Account; Tomorrow the world! FADE OUT: END ACT TWO 35 TAG FADE IN: INT. STEPHENS LIVING ROOM - DAY 35 Maurice and Samantha. Maurice is sipping from his 35 large martini glass, Samantha from a small one. Samantha listens as Maurice goes on about Darrin. MAURICE You should have seen him, Samantha. Zapping and Popping like an old pro. SAMANTHA (smiles -- nods) Remember, he only promised to use the power for one day...after that I'm sure he'll revert to his amateur standing. MAURICE I don't think so, Samantha...he has opened the forbidden can of peas... he has taken the proverbial inch. He has tasted power ... it's like popcorn, once you start, you can stop. SAMANTHA You don't know Darrin. MAURICE I know mortals. They have as much backbone as a used soda straw. SAMANTHA Darrin is an exceptional human being! MAURICE Your loyalty is commendable, but your perspective is a little distorted. SAMANTHA Not at all! He's sensitive, principled and a very good judge of character. MAURICE Sssh! 35 CONTINUED: 35 SAMANTHA What is it? MAURICE Here comes the judge. (kissing her) Goodbye, my dear. I think my continued presence would only embarrass you. He makes a gesture and POPS OUT. SAMANTHA Good-bye, Daddy. Samantha sits down. She looks a little worried. 36 ANOTHER ANGLE - HALL 36 Door opens and Darrin comes in ... in very high spirits. DARRIN Hi Sweetheart. He crosses to Samantha. They kiss. SAMANTHA Hi, Sweetheart ... wait'll you hear what happened today... DARRIN Can it wait, honey? Because I've got some great news. SAMANTHA Mine's pretty good too. DARRIN Sam, I've got to get this off my chest. I've come to an obvious conclusion that I've been stupid and selfish and unreasonable and I ask you to forgive me. SAMANTHA For what? DARRIN Sam ... it's simple ... I married you for what you are -- if I love you enough, I have to accept that..just as you have accepted certain things about my world. All these years 3 you've been denied the luxuries that are your natural heritage. Well, that's all over now... SAMANTHA Over? DARRIN Yes. Your father is right. You deserve all the things that I haven't been able to give you. SAMANTHA But Sweetheart, I've got everything I want. DARRIN Not enough! Why, by the time I could afford to buy you a mink coat, minks might be extinct. All I'm suggesting is that we speed things up a little. Now tell me -- what's your good news? SAMANTHA Oh. Well, it's about the baby. He rolled over today. DARRIN (blankly) Rolled over what? SAMANTHA You know -- turned over by himself. DARRIN What's so great about that? SAMANTHA At five weeks? DARRIN Oh. Hey, that's great! Now let's celebrate. How about dinner at Maxim's in Paris? SAMANTHA Darrin, would you mind if we had a quiet evening at home ... I'm afraid that our surprise has taken a lot out of me. 36 CONTINUED: (2) 36 DARRIN I knew you'd be thrilled... so we'll have a quiet dinner at home. I'll go get cleaned up. He exits. 37 CLOSE ANGLE - SAMANTHA 37 As she wearily sits down. We HEAR MAURICE'S VOICE: MAURICE'S VOICE He has opened the forbidden can of peas ... he has taken the proverbial inch. He has tasted power... it's like popcorn. Once you start you can't stop. SAMANTHA Not Darrin ... No. (she smiles) it's been a big day for Darrin. A good night's sleep and he'll feel differently in the morning... (serious again) I hope. And on Samantha's poignant but hopeful look we FREEZE FRAME OVER THIS: ANNOUNCER'S VOICE Don't miss Part Two of "Daddy Comes to Visit"...aptly titled "Darrin The Warlock" next week on BEWITCHED. FADE OUT: THE END
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